Wednesday, April 13, 2011

You know you're in Korea when...

…you own a shirt that says “I MARRIED am communist,” and socks that say “I am a cow and a orange.” buy a pair of fake glasses, not for a costume party.

…an hour-long ride on the subway doesn’t seem that long.

…you call ramen “rameon” and go to restaurants to eat it. can get through an entire chili and kimchi-laden meal without even breaking a sweat.

…you can translate Konglish.

…you use Konglish to order food (“I’ll have a baniLLa cone-uh please.”)

…you add “-uh” to the end of words without thinking about it. ("Nice-uh.")

…you know when to add “-uh” to make yourself understandable (i.e. "emart-uh"). can't keep your tenses, articles, or pronouns straight. know the dance moves to a K-pop song.

...the 1000₩ jewelry store has nothing else to offer you. own nail polish in every color (easy to do when it's 1000₩ a bottle!) see heels in every weather. start to think that getting a perm would be a good idea. start to think bangs would be a good idea.

...your wardrobe is influenced by the concerns of 6 year-old girls. make your arms into a giant "x" every time you say "no." have to tell everyone your Korean age (which is 2 years older than your actual age). have a vacation consisting of Thursday off, Friday morning at work, Friday afternoon off, Monday at work, Tuesday off.

...most males are wearing pants tighter than your own. have to push your way through a crowd of soju-soaked ajusshis at 8:00pm on a Tuesday night to get to your apartment. see a purse you like in the subway and then realize it belongs to a guy. feel cheated if your meal doesn't come with a side of kimchi (even if you don't like kimchi). start "yogiyo-ing" your friends (in other words summoning them with the Korean "Here!" phrase used in restaurants). are careful not to write anyone's name is red

...a doctor's visit, complete with x-rays and prescription meds, costs less than $9.

...your paycheck is in the millions.

...sweet potatoes are a common ingredient in pizza and desserts.

...mayonnaise is considered a good salad dressing. can pay less than $20 for a cab ride all the way across the city. automatically say "annyeong" when you're leaving somewhere...annyeong!

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